Wow ....

Wow... yeah ok so Im selfish bad tempered and use guilt and anger to get my way.
This all came to light last night after I got ticked off and blew up at DH.
Let me back track a bit here.

The hubby has a friend who lost his wife several years ago. He has no job and says he cant get a job on the books cause he owes the IRS money and they will take all his earnings. So he collects cans metals what ever he can to make money. The hubby was buying him food to help him out ... I got kinda ticked off as we where doing without things. So now said friend comes over once a week mows the yard helps DH do what ever . He eats dinner showers and plays on our computers. Oh I failed to mention his power is cut off no lights no water . He has a wood burner to stay warm in the winter.
Said friend had a 81 Ford pickup and the city has decided since it wasn't tagged that he had x amount of days to move it or it would be towed.
The solution ? We take the pickup..after the hubby spends money on a new fuel pump 30 day tags and insurance. Now it sits in front of our house and hubby keeps saying its your truck your truck. UGGGGGGGGG I don't drive any more people I haven't had a licence in years ! *sigh*. I digress... I went on housework strike and didn't do laundry for a week and dishes for 2 days.
Needless to say we ran out of drinking glasses and clean towels.
I'm not the only adult in this house there is the hubby daughter 26 and son 25.
Son will help once in awhile the daughter is well .... at least she starts work on Monday.
So yesterday I got on my big girl panties and got over my mad. I cleaned the living room made my bed gathered and emptied all the trash and washed dishes. Gathered laundry and even started some.
I fixed a decent dinner even ... Pork Steaks mashed potatoes mushroom gravy and green beans.
Then hubby started in on me about the online game we all play World of Warcraft (WoW). Play if you want ... play if you want ... No I don't want to play because laundry needs done and if I don't do it it wont get done .
Boom that started a fight of course.
I brought up the friend and how the day he comes over used to be the nite we went out for coffee..he countered with we stopped going before this cause of the kids moving back home..you haven't said anything about wanting to go ... ummm yes I have you chose to ignore it.
Hubby: I have asked what I can do to help ...you say nothing .
Damn do I have to tell you that not sticking your socks in your shoes and emptying your pockets and walking your clothes to the hamper everyday ? Do I need to say hey I washed all the dishes how about you put them away ? Or I washed dried and folded the laundry how about you put them away ?
Yes your right I don't want anyone else doing dishes because to me washing dishes is more than just washing dishes ! Wipe the stove and counters too !
Sheesh is that to much to ask ?
So it ended up with him telling me I was selfish and used guilt to get my way , and me telling him he was an ass.
We had a uneasy truce by the time I went to bed .
I wake up this morning to the bedroom light being flipped on and burning my eyes with its glare.
Sorry I said I was turning on the light to cover your eyes ... umm ok . I get up and I hear the washer running. Is the washer running I ask ..yeah I started a load of jeans ..sigh ..ok was going to take a shower then start laundry ..thank you for starting laundry. Get him out the door to work and when the washer is finished I go to put load in the dryer ... ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Not only did he put jeans in he put in the greasy shirt he wore to work on said pickup. The one I had sat aside to wash alone so it wouldn't get on the other clothes. Thankfully none of the jeans had grease on them. So my grumpy mood isn't getting any better.
As I sit here typing this he calls he hasn't even been gone 3 hours and asks how busy I am with stuff . What ?
Don't worry I tell him I will get stuff done .. I know you will .
Yeah I'm not a happy camper and he knows it . PMS might be some of it but damn enough with the crap this family likes to pull stack and leave laying around.
Rant over.

Update

Got everything done on my list minus cleaning the carpet.
Ran out of energy and my back and hip was hurting badly.

I did continue it through tonight.
I washed up dishes from dinner,cleared and wiped the table.
Cleaned up and set up coffee maker.
Ready for tommrows list which will be small as I have the bushi boy and iddy bit

Starting Over

Im fed up with myself and my house!
I find myself doing just enough to get by with the house.
Its gotten so dark and heavy and its time to get it back on track.
Ive let more than the house go lately and now more than ever I need the light and peace in my life and home.
So for how ever long it take Im going to be cleaning and cleansing my home .
New habits are beginning today and will post the plan and end product.
Todays plan:
Shower and dress to barefeet.
Brush teeth and hair facial care.
Put away all the clean dishes.
Gather all dirty dishes
Scrub out kitchen sink
Wash all dirty dishes
Dry and put away clean dishes
Scrub down all counters
Scrub down butcher block
Scrub down all kitchen Cabniets
Take down and wash knick knacks off top of cabniets
Wash up find new homes for knick knacks in kitchen window
Take down and wash kitchen curtains
Clean kitchen window, wipe out window sill
Clean out wipe out fridge
Declutter top of fridge wash cover and replace
Scrub Stove top to bottom
Scrub outside fridge top to bottom
Scrub Backsplashes
Empty kitchen trash
Clean inside and out of kitchen trash can
Vacuum kitchen
Clean kitchen carpet.

Wheww thats alot may take more than a day but will get it done !

Hello , Good bye Sorry you couldnt accept me as I am

So this is where the rubber hits the road as they say.
Im no longer going to hide myself from what I hope are my online friends.
My circle of friends in the world outside the www have known or at least suspected it for along time now. Most if not all have accepted it and the others either dont care or have chose to ignore it.
Im Pagan ...a green witch if you will . I dont believe in the singular god idea. I believe in the Gods and Godesses, in faires and dragons and the 3 fold law.

I believe herbs can heal the body mind and soul. The elements can aide you in your everyday work. I dont believe in the devil ... in evil yes very much so . Most takes the human form ..look at what so many are doing to the children of the world.
I love hanging out with like minded people and thankfully I have found then. And thanks to someone very special I am learning more than I have ever thought I could. He wont give me the answers to the questions but will set me off down the path that I need to find. Thank you F. and H. you guys what can I say other than I Love you both.
So there it is in a nutshell . Got a question Ill try and answer it . Put please be repectfull .. I dont try and convert anyone , please show the same respect.

Where do I start ?

So its been awhile and alot has happened so if this rambles and doesnt make total sense forgive me.
My oldest daughter became pregnant and lost the baby left her borderline abusive husband and moved to Texas.
Son spent a month and a half in Idaho with his aunt and grandparents was nice having the house to myself when the hubby was at work.
The youngest daughter ... I dont want to even discuss her right now.
Im still unemployed but hoping will be back at it soon..really need the money.
The garden is doing fairly well tomatoes and green beans are going crazy ... thai peppers are slowly producing. Something got our corn and my zuchinni isnt doing anything . Nothing taste better than biting into a tomato and getting that burst of flavor that no store bought one has.
My roses are rather where going crazy until this heat wave knocked the wind out of them.
Im so happy for chris getting things all pulled together and getting in her and the families new home. Wish I could have joined Nat down there with her.
Maybe sometime that get together will happen.
Ive busted butt on the house today and gotten it all back in order minus laundry our bedroom and the laundry room. Tommrow is another day .

Quickie update

It has turned cold with snow showers on me this weekend. What the hec ..its suppose to be SPRING already!!!

New to me furniture is here finally yay !! I love it , switched around curtains and Im loving the look !

Ive rearranged every room in the house this week except the bathroom and my bedroom *big grin*.

The son keeps asking why I have to rearrange all the time ... my answer I get bored ?

Ok so my Bushi boy who has been in my care and heart from age 6 weeks turned 4! He isnt supposed to be that old ! He calls me mommom and the hubby Honey...

Ok long story short I call the hubby Honey ... he started calling him daddy but we stopped that due not wanting issues with his bio dad..so he calls him Honey .

Yeap thats the bushi boy....and yes he is as onery as he looks. Love him to death and beyond.
And he gets bonus points for believing in dragons

Tales of Weekends, Woodpeckers and Distraction

So its Monday morning and Im hoping that things will be better this week.
Mondays are not known for being good days and this is no exception.
But lets back up a bit here and do flashback of the last week.
Youngest daughter decides to stay in Hays ...no big deal really except that the precious grandson will also be staying there . 5 hours way!!! Not a happy grandma.
My loving and expert at tredding on my calm husband decides he needs to go buy slacks for work. Ummm excuse me but what about the 6 or more pair in the closet now ??
Ok fine , you get rid of some of them and I have no problem you getting more (closet space isnt gettin any bigger here folks). Needless to say they didnt get gone through, upside of that one ?
He didnt buy any slacks ...just a pack of black dress socks... go figure ...MEN! All this goes down Sunday when I have the worst cramps I swear Ive had in ever !
Any way pan camera to today. Hubby goes to work I attempt at getting something done I get on line and go to my favorite chat room and I start hearing what sounds like either a woodpecker or a jackhammer in my house! Im freaking out, it gets louder in my bedroom but then it sounds really loud by the sons room then it dawns on my its the furnace ! Oh holy crap its gonna either blow or die on me. So I call the landlord , she says its probably the wind (its gusting to 55mph+ today) if it keeps up after the wind dies down call back. Thankfully it has stopped after it woke up the son. So after sitting and getting nothing done other than opening the curtains and shaded and making more coffee I decide being on line is distracting me to much from getting stuff done.(yeah yeah I know Im on line now, my timer is set so :p) Oh and I did get hamburger out of the freezer for dinner tonight.
Im thinking i need a day at a spa ...you know one of those where they serve you drinks in fluted glasses and elegant little snacks and the pamper and primp you all day....sigh it would be fabulous except for one tiny little glitch ... I cant stand anyone touching my feet...but that my friends is a total different post. Love and Light to you all